Why can't I get dressed?!

The frustration of a style rut, and how to climb out if it.

I’m experiencing something fairly frustrating at the moment. The best way I can think to describe it is like the style version of writers block. Every morning I go to get dressed, I want to get dressed, and I’m just drawing a blank.

It’s not because I have nothing to wear - we all know if I complained about that, it would be a bare faced lie! It’s more of an energetic flatness. A persistent “meh.” Every outfit that I experiment with feels slightly off, and the outfit formulas and items I usually love just aren’t landing.

The embarrassing truth is: I’m literally studying to be a personal stylist. I care about clothes. I notice things. I understand proportion and balance and texture and all the things that are meant to make getting dressed (and developing your personal style) easier. I have more knowledge, more resources, and probably a higher tolerance for “trying” than most people.

And yet, this week: Blocked.

Which makes me think this isn’t actually about not knowing what to wear. It’s about something else entirely. Maybe it’s the increased mental load around Easter and school holidays. Maybe it’s decision fatigue (have you heard the statistic that mothers make over 1000 micro decisions daily - nearly 3 times more than before kids¹). Maybe it’s the seasonal in-between: too warm for coats, too cold for summer clothes… and don’t even get me started on shoes. Too hot for boots, too wet for ballet flats and suddenly sneakers are giving me the ick?? Essentially everything feels like the wrong choice.

Whatever it is, it’s been enough to turn getting dressed from something I enjoy into something that feels like a chore. I know I’m not the first, and won’t be the last, to experience this kind of style block. So here’s a small but important question I’ve asked myself:

Is it my wardrobe or my capacity?

If you’re in the same blocked situation and you answer that it’s your wardrobe, by all means, go solve that problem! Thrift, shop, rent, borrow, mend, tailor, re-imagine… whatever you need to do to find that spark: you have my permission. If it’s shop - I’ll give you a peek at what’s currently sitting in my multiple shopping carts…

Clockwise from top left: Cashmere triangle scarf || Cashmere rugby sweater || Slim flare jeans || leather gloves || baseball cap || poncho || heels || boots || sneakers }} tuxedo shirt

However, if the answer to your blockage is CAPACITY, maybe the following ideas could be useful for you too. Instead of forcing creativity I’m trying to go back to basics. I am currently experimenting with four different methods, or using four different tools to hopefully get me through the “blah” phase and back into my rhythm.

I’m not fully there yet, but I trust it will come back. (It will right???)

1) Give yourself an “easy win”

(Also known as outfit repeating)

The beauty of writing this Substack (and frankly, being obsessed with documenting my outfits) is that I have a camera roll full of references.

Yes, it’s mildly humiliating when you’re scrolling through hundreds of photos of yourself while someone peers over your shoulder and you angle your phone away like you’ve got something to hide. (My son would call this “suss.”)

But embarrassment aside, it’s incredibly useful.

When your brain is tired, don’t ask it to be creative, ask it to remember.

Go back to an outfit you know you liked: Repeat it.

If I had to settle on what my “style uniform” is - I’d probably say jeans, a flat shoe and some sort of knit. I remembered liking this cardigan with the balloon jean silhouette, so when I was drawing a blank, I revisited it, this time in a darker wash jean and a lighter shoe.

2) Change One Thing

The formula for this hack is simple. Find a base outfit, and then change one thing. I don’t know how much more I can elaborate on that! Simply changing a jacket or the silhouette of a pair of pants can radically change the look of an outfit. And if it’s an outfit that feels more like a uniform to you, you’ll get variety without necessarily having to step too far out of your comfort zone. This strategy isn’t about total reinvention, it’s about a small shift that creates new energy.

Simply changing from a leather blazer, to a fringe jacket, to a wool blazer, gives the illusion of 3 totally different outfits and 3 totally different moods.

3) Be a Copy Cat

Looking to style inspo really is “Getting Dressed 101.” Telling you to recreate a look you’ve pinned is maybe the most obvious advice (along with outfit repeating - sorry!) and yet, sometimes when we’re in a rut, we don’t think to do it. In my eyes there are two approaches to outfit recreation. Route 1 is looking at an image and recreating it almost like for like. Route 2 is a little more creative and it asks you to identify what the elements of the outfit are broadly speaking, and then you recreate it with similar things (not exact replicas) Below is an example of both.

Being a Copy Cat can mean either being a direct imitation or learning how to translate outfits - recognising what you like and making it yours is a great styling skill to develop.

The two left images are an example of route 1 recreation. I found an image on Pinterest and then I recreated it as precisely as I could. Black ballet flats, light relaxed jeans, black t-shirt, navy pinstripe blazer, dark oversized sunglasses. The two images on the right are an example of a route 2 recreation. Taking the elements from Bhavitha’s Chanel outfit (un-styled hair, neutral 1/4 zip knit, relaxed light wash jeans, black and white shoes) and reinterpreting them through the lens of what I own, and what is more my style (beige is not my jam!)

4) Surprise Yourself

This is the wildcard.

Or, as my friend so eloquently put it when I told her I was in a style rut: “Just f**k it all up.” Her point being: when nothing feels right, stop trying to get it “right.”

Wear something unexpected. Something you wouldn’t normally put together. Not because it’s perfect, but because it jolts you out of autopilot. This is essentially a fake it till you make it/ fake it till you become it, strategy.

Sometimes creativity will come from disruption rather than refinement.

Felt the fear and did it anyway: Wearing the Wild Rag scarf and slouchy zara boots. Both items I love but feel intimidated by. Am I cool enough? Who cares. I just WENT FOR IT!

Ultimately, I want to live in a world where dressing feels fun again, because quite frankly, not much else does at the moment². Accepting that I can’t control what I can’t control, I am determined to control this.

So although I’m not feeling my most creative, I will go down fighting! I have tools. I have a strong will. And I have many reasons that I should want to look good and feel great each and every day. (You guys reading this is one of them. Thank you x)

So if you’ve been feeling a bit blocked too, or you know that you get blocked occasionally, save this article to reference. Keep it simple. Be kind to yourself. Repeat the outfit. Copy the look. Change one thing. Or completely f**k it all up.

And one final request (because I’m nosy and desperate!) if you have a style uniform that is a go-to or something that you can confidently fall back on when you’re feeling stylistically stuck: please tell me in the comments!

1. I saw that statistic on a FB post so I don’t know how accurate it actually is… but it feels real

2. Although how awesome and positive and incredible has all the Artemis 2 NASA space content been!