Stepping into being "enough"

with some help from a fringe leather jacket

Recently, I’ve shared two little notes about one major jacket and I wanted to elaborate on those notes, partly because it’s a pretty fun and wild story, and partly because in thinking about it, and retelling this story, I actually had a little ah-ha! moment and I thought if it’s true for me, it might be true for someone else reading this too.

A refresher for anyone not across all my activity on here at all times!

Let me take you back to the summer of 2023. Andy (my husband) and I were invited to a Vegas-themed fancy dress party. Not your “stick a feather in your hair and call it Vegas” type, but a full-blown Vegas extravaganza. The hosts had created their own currency (to be used to buy chips), there was a red carpet arrival, the lounge room had been converted into an actual casino with gambling tables, there was a roving magician walking around the party performing and a live musical act. It was FULL ON. And when the invitation came through I knew our costumes had to be as well.

Currency from the Bank of Blakes, a margarita and a prop cigarette.

Our interpretation of the theme was going to be “Vegas marriage,” a Western-style wedding (that completely messed up my Pinterest algorithm as I spent hours researching the look.) It was pre Cowboy Carter so you could find some good western style clothes at a decent price. And that’s where the jacket enters the story. Cut to me finding this incredible leather jacket on the outnet. It was still an investment but it felt like the event called for commitment. To economise in other areas I was going to wear cowboy boots that I already owned and I sourced Andy’s matching outfit (black satin western shirt, big buckle belt and cowboy hat) off ASOS. Things were looking good. Some might even say: sexy.

In all her Outnet product flat lay glory. As a side note, as someone who has just gotten into Canva AND started cataloguing her wardrobe on line: stores that provide a clean image are really doing such a public service. Thank you.

That is until Andy became a bridezilla. He decided his outfit wasn’t “special enough” and didn’t want to just look like a guy in a black shirt if we weren’t standing together all night. (Fair enough) Meanwhile, Sydney was forecast to hit 40°C (that’s 104 F) and I knew I’d melt in boots and a leather jacket. So we had to do a last-minute pivot: Andy went as a boxer and I went as a bachelorette. Still hot. Still fun. But my beautiful investment jacket? Never worn.

Is there are part of me that’s sharing this story so I can get this picture of me looking hot as shit circulating on the internet again? You bet! Please forward, like and share to all my ex boyfriends.

So, my beautiful unworn jacket mocked me from my closet (I can’t be the only one this happens to?) and I did the mental gymnastics of weighing up all the pros and cons and convinced myself I’d never actually wear it. I made the “adult” choice to love it and let it go: I consigned it.

Mature, practical, very Marie Kondo.

Except… I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Fast-forward to present day: fringe jackets are more mainstream. Leather jackets are acceptable and fashionable in all shapes and sizes (not just the Acne aviator style that dominated the past few years) and all of a sudden, I find myself thinking about this jacket at least once a week. Constantly annoyed at my shortsightedness and lack of confidence in myself and my taste. Not only that, I feel like I’m finally dressing with more confidence, so I actually WOULD wear it (like I wear my other fringe blazer)

So then I thought, if this truly is a regret, maybe I could buy it back? And after some entry level internet super sleuthing, I did find it (yay!) listed on Vestiare (ok… shipping is a consideration) in GBP (uh-oh.) With the currency conversion I was looking at spending close to $1k. For the record, that’s far more than I had spent on it when it was brand new.

It just wasn’t going to happen.

It could be yours though!

And then: PLOT TWIST! Two days ago, I walked into the same consignment store where I’d sold it, and there it was. My jacket! I squealed. I told John, the owner, the full story. I acted out bits with my hands and as my son’s teacher says: I spoke with expression! He gave me a discount and I bought it back!!!!!

Here’s what I’ve realised in the days since:
I didn’t sell it because it was “too much.” I sold it because I felt like I wasn’t enough.

Two years ago, I couldn’t imagine wearing something this bold to do the school drop off and pick up because I was still both A) concerned with other peoples opinions of me (that’s an ongoing work in progress BTW) and also B) I kept waiting to feel worthy of wearing something like it. I kept thinking “if I lived in London or New York this would make sense” or “if I worked in fashion I could pull this off.” I didn’t realise that the validation I was desperately waiting for was simply a decision I just had to make for myself.

Here’s what I know to be true:

• Don’t wait for someone else to validate your choices.

• If something makes you feel good = that’s reason enough.

• Nobody’s thinking about you as much as you think they are (they’re too busy worrying about themselves).

• Playing small doesn’t serve you or anyone around you.

So yes, I’ve bought the same jacket twice. But really, I think what I bought back this second time around wasn’t just a “jacket” it was a permission slip for myself to wear and dress and express exactly how I want.

I hope you’re lucky enough to have exciting clothes in your wardrobes that remind you to do the same too. (And that you actually wear them!) Better yet: show me in the comments!!!!

Until next time.

Love you!